Monday, May 31, 2004

Eye-Witness News, 10pm. on Channel EWN

Making the headlines: Chinese O's is out of my life

"I heard screams coming from the hall. It was 12:30pm. The screams were deafening. Suddenly, a big door swang open and out dashed 5million people. Immediately, I evacuated the building to avoid the stampede. Unfortunately, before I could reach the stairs, I tripped over my leg and one man trampled over my fingers."

The Man: I'm sorry sir.

Eye Witness: Tell me who you are.

The Man: Ryan, victor over Chinese.

31 MAY 2004, Ryan was victorious over Chinese, his life-long enemy. Finally, he can burn it the flames of dark blue titanium. But his celebrations ended abruptly when his eyes fell upon some unpleasant remarks about manutd.
Pleasant reminder: ManUtd defeated Arsenal en route to the final.

Anyway, I once again propose for a competitive match against a competitor (now that David is gone). Also, I would love to watch a couple of s.league games this june. Also, I would love to have some football training this week. If you happen to share my requests, please contact me immediately. Please. Thanks. You're welcome. Bye.

Kam out.

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Your similes need some explanation, Ryan. How does a dog in the desert rock? I can't really think of how, actually. Perhaps Caleb could shed some light on this phenomenon.

there are a lot more than 4 seats in the JYM Manchester United party, I think. But it's okay, long have I suffered and toiled and been persecuted by all of you. And it's not the number that counts, it's tha loyalty. And I can't really say very much about that in many Man U fans!

To quote Elijah in the Bible,"If Man U is the true club, support them. But if Blackburn is the true club, support them!" :P

what can I boast of in Blackburn? Well, there's Stead. Last season there was Duff and Friedel. there's also a league cup two seasons ago. And we beat Man U this season, and last season, and did the Double over Arsenal last season.

One might do well to remember man Utd's own dismal display this season, only scrimping for a pathetic FA Cup against Millwall and their Mighty Mouse.

Here's to a promising EPL season next year, where I will have two clubs to support!

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Chinese is comin' man. Check it out. I'm gonna kick it outta my way with a C6 or 5..or somethin' like that. or a B4, if God is willing. or a distinction, if they print my cert wrongly.

3-0 for a champs league final is ridiculous. Finals should never be one-sided. Think the Monaco players were wearing size 5 boots. Their goalkeeper played worse than a candlestick of greenland origin and Rothen was playing as badly as a southern african tribal chess player. Deschamps is a man to respect, he probably got it right on paper, but forget to tell his players "play for ur own pride". Mourinho did just that, and look who's feelin proud now. Ye-air. Porto rocks, like a dog in a desert.

In other news, I need to play a competitive football match with a competitor soon. Who's next in line to lose to the mighty SJCFC? Who's next in line to be chopped down by mighty caleb, blasted by mighty kaimin, fooled by mighty david, out-run by mighty junxu, out-tackled by mighty ivan, out-sped by might gabriel, and out-voiced by the mighty cheering of mighty brenda? We're on an unbeaten run man, woohoo, check that out, although we didn't play very well against ACS. But ACS was strong. Anyway I guess we better train first.

In weather, it is all bright and breezy for the manchester contingent of Jesus youth ministry. JYM can now confirm that ManUtd now has at least 4 seats, with a certain lawrence on board. This is an overwhelming figure for the blackburn party, with leader ivan chan failing to rally support from the masses. He owns a negligible 1 seat (it has remained as 1 for 7 years running). Still, he stands his ground, always trying to find something in blackburn that he could boast of. Frankly, there's nothing. It is yet to be seen whether the liverpool, newcastle and barcelona contingents have grown. Very unlikely, i believe, especially for the latter two.

In sports, I propose for SJCFC to set up a youth academy, which would groom talent such as lawrence, who resembles his brother skill-wise, and er, yeah, lawrence. Well there's kester and michael coming up soon. I propose that lawrence join us in training because I think he is a real potential, breaking into his primary school team despite his size (just like me, a mis-firing striker, who scored 1 goal in 5 games). He plays centre-back for balestier primary school but I certainly cannot imagine him training in that position. He'll fly. Why don't we just groom his overall skill and refine his ball sense. Leave the size to his thyroxine, and his manutd allegiance to me.

Till then, it's ryan kam from eye witness news.

Kam out!

-ryan kam-

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Haha, finally our blog is livening up again. I hope your toes are better, Ryan.

DREAM TEAM PART 2: LEFT-BACKS
Panel: Ivan, Jesse, Daniel, David, Caleb, Kenny, Radius, Ryan
20. Steve Howey (Bolton) 50.5
19. Denis Irwin (Wolves) 51
18. Callum Davidson (Leicester) 51.5
16. Jamie Clapham (Birmingham) 52
16. Chris Powell (Charlton) 52 [can you believe he won an England cap?]
14. Vratislav Gresko (Blackburn) 53
14. David Unsworth (Everton) 53
13. Carlos Bocanegra (Fulham) 53.5
12. John Curtis (Portsmouth) 54.5
10. Graeme Le Saux (Southampton) 55.5
10. Franck Queudrue (Middlesbrough) 55.5
9. Christian Ziege (Tottenham) 56
7. J'Lloyd Samuel (Aston Villa) 56.5
7. John O'Shea (Man Utd) 56.5

Tied for fifth: Sylvain Distin (Man City), Olivier Bernard (Newcastle) 57

A bit of a surprise here. I'm not sure I want Distin in my team ahead of Samuel or O'Shea, but everyone seems to be agreeable with Distin, whereas Kenny thought badly of Samuel AND O'Shea to relegate those two. Bernard has been pretty solid at Newcastle the whole season, although perhaps attention has been focused too much on Given to give him enough time in the spotlight.

Tied for third: Ian Harte (Leeds), John Arne Riise (Liverpool) 60

Two left-backs known more for their attacking than defending. Ian Harte has been pretty maligned at times, but perhaps memories of his sweet free-kicks from seasons back might have lingered in the memory, while Riise impresses with his runs down the left. Indeed the top three left-backs all have pretty good attacking qualities. Harte shades third spot with three first-placings to Riise's two.

Second: Ashley Cole (Arsenal) 62

The first-choice England international loses out on first place, perhaps for two reasons: he doesn't defend that well; and because of his reputation for diving. But he's really speedy and complements Pires very effectively on the Arsenal left.

First: Wayne Bridge (Chelsea) 64

Upstaging Ashley Cole is Bridge, arguably the steadier of the two. But he seems to have added the attacking edge to his game which was seen quite dramatically in the second leg against Monaco in the Champions League. Also memorably sent Arsenal out of the same competition in the quarters with that one-two and sweet shot, which leaves no doubt as to his quality. This position is his, quite comfortably.

Dream Team choice: Wayne Bridge
Runner-up: Ashley Cole
Third-place: Ian Harte

***


Friday, May 07, 2004

As the season comes to a close, i would like to announce to the World my version of the EPL team of the year 03/04.

Adapting a 3-2-3-2 Formation

Goalkeeper
Thomas Sorenson(Aston Villa)
My vote is on him because of his heroics and acrobatic saves that have allow his team to stay in contention for Europe's top competition. Done well and performed well.

Defence
Kolo Toure(Arsenal)
The unsung hero of Arsenal. From the Ivory Coast, little did he dream of being the rock of Arsenal's unbeaten run. Credit should go to him for his tireless defending and the humility to always keep trying!

Defence
Johnathan Woodgate(Newcastle)
A player that was sorely missed in the recent 2-0 loss in the Uefa cup Semis. played well through the season that could earn him a call up to the England squad to the Euro 2004 in Portugal.

Defence
Oleg Mellberg(Aston Villa)
The only player in football that sports a beard! Cool Swedish captain! truly the rock of all teams! Another reeason to Villa's good run. Deadly when it comes to attcking corners and effective in stopping and clearing attacks.

Defensive Midfield
Roy Keane(Manchester United)
My favourite player of all times! A true leaders only to be brought down by a team of young players withoput much experience. His drive is always the winning factors in games and those crunching tackles that stop attacks. Can spray a few dangerous passes that may cut the defence like a knife through butter. His late runs are dangerous too, making hard for defenders to pick him out, he may make one of those runs before lashing a powerful shot that the keeper can do nothing about! Sheer Class! Whenever he's out due to injuries, MAn u will be down and out, Surely the winning factor to any team in the world!

Defensive MIdfield
Patrick Viera(Arsenal)
Another leader of a great team. Good tackler of balls and always having an eye on starting attacks. A great ball winner with good leadership. As reyes said, when he speaks everyone listens. Even henry or the most senior player(Parlour) listens.

Left Midfield
Laurent Robert(Newcastle)
Has been star for the Magpies. Those curling crosses always being made by a players head. Often credit will go to the scorer but, i think we should applaud those who made that cross, the pass. Robert is often being found in that category.

Attacking Midfield
Osvaldo Juninho Paulista(middlesbrough)
This one is a tough choice between scholes and lampard. But he has the flair that the other 2 players are very much lacking. The vision, the one-touches, the dribbling ability. what more can i ask for?

Striker
Thierry Henry(Arsenal)
The man of the moment. Cant resist to leave him out of this team. Again his flair have earned him a place here. A set piece specialist, can share some of that will Robert. Nice, pacy modern player to represent the modern game!

Striker
Alan Shearer (Newcastle)
Tough fight between him and Stead(sorry ivan). Capable of scoring goals from funny angles and distance. always willing to put the shot in, making it difficult for defenders to anticipate. A true blue striker with experience on his belt!

Manager
Kevin Keegan(mancherster City)
As you can see, the team is made up of people with leadership and the heavy captain's armband. Thus, a good motivator is needed here and i've chosen keegan. Able to bring players from the abyss of fatigue to a unlimited level of stamina. look at man city, always fighting though they're a goal down most of the time. Inspirational's the word




Ryan's Epl Team of the Season

Using a 4-4-2 formation...
Goalkeeper - Tim Howard

Left Back - John O'Shea
Centre-Back - Mikael Silvestre
Centre-Back - Rio Ferdinand
Right Back - Gary Neville

Left Winger - Ryan Giggs
Centre-Mid - Paul Scholes
Centre-Mid - Roy Keane
Right Winger - Darren Fletcher

Forward - Ruud van Nistelrooy
Forward - Louis Saha

Best Substitutes Epl Team of the Season

Goalkeeper - Roy Caroll
Left Back - Phil Neville
Centre-Back - Wes Brown
Centre-Back - Er. Mark Lynch
Right Back - Quinton Fortune

Left Winger - Kleberson
Centre-Mid - Djemba-Djemba
Centre-Mid - Nicky Butt
Right Winger - Christiano Ronaldo

Forward - Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
Striker - David Bellion

Coach of the Season - ...Arsene Wenger

*Forlan, a notable absentee from the lists above, having missed a sitter against Blackburn, has been duly left out. But I think he didn't wear his hairband properly against Blackburn. He wore his boots on the wrong feet for 6 matches. He forget to cut his fingernails too, for 5 of those games, thus increasing resistance in his fingers. For 4 of those games, he forgot his lunch. 3 of those games, he choked on chewing gum while shooting. 2, his pants were too tight. 1, he hit his head while leaving the players' tunnel.

SJC's English Premiership Dream Team, Part One: Goalkeepers

Survey Panel: Ivan, Caleb, David, Ryan, Brenda, Jesse, Kai Min, Kenny, Radius

(Junxu and Gabriel abstained)

Okay, first I'll post the lousiest 15, then slowly the top 5...

20. Michael Oakes (Wolves) 56
19. Ian Walker (Leicester) 58.5
17. Kasey Keller (Tottenham) 59
17. Shaka Hislop (Portsmouth) 59
16. Jerzy Dudek (Liverpool) 61
15. Nigel Martyn (Everton) 61.5
14. Jussi Jaaskelainen (Bolton) 62
13. Maik Taylor (Birmingham) 63
12. Mark Schwarzer (Middlesbrough) 64.5
11. David James (Manchester City) 65.5
10. Paul Robinson (Leeds) 66
9. Jens Lehmann (Arsenal) 66.5
7. Antti Niemi (Southampton) 67
7. Dean Kiely (Charlton) 67
6. Brad Friedel (Blackburn) 68.5

And now the top 5...

Tied for 4th: Thomas Sorensen (Aston Villa), Edwin van der Sar (Fulham) 69

Fair enough. Sorensen has been quietly good at a quietly good Aston Villa team (who just might beat Liverpool and Newcastle quietly to a good 4th spot), while Edwin van der Sar has been really masterful, especially at penalty saves.

3rd: Carlo Cudicini (Chelsea) 69.5

The original front runner after the first round of votes, but was thought poorly of by Brenda Goh, who gave him a 5. Besides upsetting the grizzly population in Singapore, Cudicini hasn't really been able to show his ability in the league this season, struggling with injuries, but his form last season and early this season is still fresh in the minds of quite a lot of people.

Tied 1st: Shay Given (Newcastle), Tim Howard (oh Man...) 70

and the first poll of this Dream team has a tie for first. Given has been consistently great in a Newcastle team with a rather brittle backbone, and deserves his place, while Howard looked to have this position locked up early in the season before his form dipped slightly in the latter part of the campaign, notably that blunder that knocked oh Man... out of Europe. being the chief arbiter, I guess the fairest way to settle this is to see who has the highest number of first-place votes, and this way, Howard beats Given 3 to 1. Coincidentally, the number of Man Utd to Newcastle supporters among the panel is 3 to 1 also, but let's not get into that, shall we?

Winner: Tim Howard (Manchester United)
Runner-Up: Shay Given (Newcastle United)
3rd Place: Carlo Cudicini (Chelsea)

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